This is a topic that has been on my mind for the last couple of months, and I thought: Maybe I'm not the only one dealing with these emotions. So here is why it's okay to be a girl and NOT serve a mission.
Since I was a little girl around the age of 4 I remember
telling my Mom that I wanted to serve a mission, and when I got old enough I
was going to. People at church would randomly ask me if I was going to serve a
mission and I would always answer, “YES”! I thought it was perfect; I would go
and then come home and then be married by 23.
Well when I turned 16 and was allowed to date, my mind
changed a little. I still wanted to go, but I was starting to understand why
you would want to get married instead of serving. Life happened and by the time 21 came around
I wasn't in a position to go. I was fully supporting myself and had been since
age 18. And these days it’s really hard to save up the 8-10,000 dollars you
need to go. Also life was crazy and I had some things I needed to figure out.
Eventually I started to really consider it again. I have
always had a desire to share what I knew with other people. The greatest joy I
had ever felt was teaching my best friend about the gospel and watching her
accept it and be baptized. I have never felt anything more fulfilling than
being a part of that.
I prayed and prayed. I wanted the answer that I should
serve. That I should start my mission
papers right away, and go and do as the Lord commanded me. I never got that answer.
It was hard for me to accept that. I had always wanted to go; I knew I would be
good missionary. Why did I not feel peace when I asked to go?
The answer I received was this: You can serve right where
you are, I need you here.
That has been comforting for me as I've gone through
feelings of regret and guilt. But I know that the answer I was given was true.
He needs me here, and that’s okay. And it’s just as okay as those who choose
and are called to serve officially as a missionary.
So for those girls out there who with this new lowered age
change for serving are struggling with feelings of guilt for not going on a formal
mission. Say a prayer to your Heavenly Father, he will answer you. He knows
where he needs you and maybe it is on a mission. But maybe it’s right there
where you are.
And that’s okay.
I love this! You are incredible. Thanks for speaking up for the girls still at home :)
ReplyDelete-- thedesertdaisies.blogspot.com
Thanks Hannah. I really felt the need to put this out there! I surely couldn't be the only one feeling like this. :) Thanks for stopping by!
DeleteThank you for writing this. I wanted to serve a mission as well, even though I didn't grow up wanting to. I took mission prep classes and tired to prepare myself, but when I prayed, I always felt like the answer was "no." All but my two closest friends ended up going and serving, and I had a lot of feelings of shame and disappointment, thinking that the Lord just didn't trust me or want me to serve. But after a lot of prayer, I was given the same answer that you were: The Lord had plenty of work for me to do, right where I was. Every time that itch to serve a mission presented itself, those same feelings of shame and doubt accompanied it, but the Lord always reminded me that He wanted me where I was and I was always presented with a huge opportunity to serve that confirmed my reasons for staying.
ReplyDeleteServing a mission is a noble and great thing to do, and I'm so grateful for those who put their lives on hold to go. But I've also come to realize that it is also a noble and great thing to lift where you stand, and "put your life on hold" in the daily things you do to serve the Lord, like magnifying your calling, helping a ward member in need, serving your friends and family, and the like. The Lord needs servants everywhere, not just those who wear the name tag.
Thank you Kaylee for that comment! That was so good that I should have let you write my post! I'm glad that you've been able to serve where you are even with those feelings creeping in! You are brave and I am grateful for your kindred spirit!
DeleteTHANK YOU. I haven't felt that guilt for a while, but sometimes I remember how I felt it and when that happens, something like this comes along to reassure me that I'm where I should be, doing the things I should be doing. Seriously, thank you.
ReplyDeleteYou're so welcome Courtney. Love how you write by the way. :)
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